Another tactic to help a teen experiencing a big feeling is to give them space. Damour suggests something like, "Why don't we call that your first reaction? And why don't we see if a second reaction comes along?" Talking about emotions is good, but there can be a tipping point when talking too much about feelings. In this situation, Damour suggests comforting and then shifting a teen who's overprocessing their emotions into a healthy distraction. Suggest doing an activity they enjoy and revisit the issue the next day.
For the teen who doesn't talk about their feelings, Damour reminds parents that there are healthy non-verbal ways to process emotions. Listening to music, playing sports and making art are healthy ways for teens to work through emotions that don't involve having a discussion.
Be encouraged when your teen handles their emotions in a healthy way that brings relief and does no harm. But Damour notes that when a teen's feelings are out of proportion and they're using destructive behaviors — like acting out or drug abuse — to cope, it's time to step in and give more support or seek professional help.